|
Fred Thompson has been in the news lately. It appears
that the former Senator and actor of both Television and the
Silver Screen is kind of sort of maybe interested in becoming
President of The United States. What makes Fred's candidacy
so interesting is the controversy swirling around his "trophy
wife" (TW), Jeri.
For starters, the Raptor is very big on TW's. Especially
when they are name Jeri. That variation of Gerry is ultra
cool and oozes of sophistication. Therefore, submitted for
your approval are some rules of the road for dealing with the TW
phenomenon.
According to Wikepedia, the TW had been around for about 15 to
20 years and refers to: "to a physically attractive younger
woman married to a man who has obtained a high level of success,
be it physical, financial, or otherwise. Usually, the trophy wife
is not the first wife of the man and has had little to do with the
achievement of that success. The trophy wife has a long history in
cultures where multiple
wives were kept simultaneously rather than sequentially. The
wrath of Achilles in the Iliad
was engendered over Agamemnon's
choice of a trophy wife, Chryseis:
""Because I chose to keep the girl and take her
home," Agamemnon declares in Book I: "Indeed I like her
better than my consort, Clytemnestra.
She is quite as beautiful, and no less clever or skilful with her
hands."[1]
The term is often used to imply that the man's intent is to
exhibit his wealth and success, the social phenomenon known as conspicuous
consumption. The term "gold
digger" is used to describe a woman who intentionally
seeks this arrangement.
The marriage of former Playboy playmate Anna
Nicole Smith to oil magnate J.
Howard Marshall was widely followed by the U.S. media, as an
extreme example,[2]
as at the time of their marriage: he was 89 years old and she was
26.
First, the TW generally finds you and it doesn't work the other
way. Therefore, if you are thinking about finding a TW...forget
it. Second, TW's should generally be blond. The
penultimate TW should also be thin but with very big
breasts. For those of you who can't relate, breasts can also
be called tits, boobs, hooters, melons, gazongas or ta-ta's. It is
also important that the tits in question be bodacious so that in
close conversations with other men that you want to cheese
off you, the TW's mate, can refer to the TW's tits as
"bodacious ta-ta's" all the while smiling and nodding.
When examining the physical aspects of the TW, make sure to
check out the Achilles Tendon area. It is vitally important
to insure that the Achilles is well defined with no obtuse
structure. In essence, a TW with fat ankles is in fact a
"trophy cow"...move on! Also, no zits...anywhere!
Why the big concern on the ankles?...you ask? Well it's
primarily due to the shoe of choice of the TW. It is 100%
imperative to make sure that the TW is always in shoes with no
back. Preferably high heels...stiletto if at all
possible. This gives the foot a refined elegance and also
makes it simple to go from street to sack when the mood strikes.
Obviously, the main reason to have a TW in the first place is
for the sex. What other reason could there be. Kinky,
sweaty, hot monkey sex...now that's what I am talking about! Also,
if your going to have a TW around, make sure to have plenty of
Viagara...what say you that that Rush?
Again names are also vitally important. The previously
mentioned Jeri is hot. Also hot would be Jackie, Leslie,
Robin, Misty, Trish, and maybe something like Aimee. Definitely
out are Maude, Sue, Pat, Cindy, Tina and Jen or Jenny.
If the TW is in the habit of wearing glasses which The Raptor
is not a fan of BTW, make sure that they are ultra sleek The TW
should have a major attitude. When the TW walks
anywhere...it's my way or else. Also, the TW needs to
develop a pout look so that when in public she will generally be
left alone. Let's face it no body want to talk to a bitch.
Finally, make sure to provide your TW with two...count em...two
vehicles. The first should be the biggest Cadillac Escalade
or Lexus available. The second should be a BMW convertible...it
should be noted that lowly Mazda Miata models and Sebring's are
out...don't go there...the TW will get pissed off and begin to
deny you sex...which is bogus.
The Raptor hopes this little primer will help you in the event
you come into some money which ultimately results in a TW reeling
you in.
|
